We are all influenced by our experience of childhood.  Some people will experience good enough parenting and for others that may not be the case.  Either way it is part of human conditioning that we have all responded to the environment that we grew up in.  

Some of us learn how to please others, or feel the need to be perfect, get things done as quickly as possible, to try hard, or to be strong and not show feelings.  We develop our beliefs about how we need to be in the world in order to survive life in childhood in the hope of being loved.  These are very useful and normal strategies of survival and are appropriate at the time of making them.

However as we grow up there comes a time when the very strategies we adopted in childhood suddenly do not work for us in adult life.  You may find it impossible to say 'no' in fear that you won't be liked if you do so.  Perhaps you find it difficult to express your feelings to someone you wish to be close to as you've learnt to hide your feelings. Maybe you work and work and are always on the go because you've learnt to hurry and be productive in order to be loved. I expect as you read this you will already know about some of th strategies you adopted as a child.  Counselling is about finding out about your unconscious strategies of survival and re-deciding them in light of the adult world you now find yourself in, to stop adapting your way of being in the world so you can begin to live your life in a way that works better for you.  This results in getting your needs met as opposed to solely meeting the needs of others. What is amazing is how easily this can be adjusted through self understanding and awareness so you can proceed to live your life deliberately instead of coincidently by those earlier decisions and long held beliefs.   

Once you have achieved this new way of being the fun really starts as you learn how to future pace your life, finding your true potential. You learn how to be truly successful in whatever way success means to you. Every action has a reaction.  If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got… so learn how to do it differently!